Children’s behaviour can be difficult to manage, particularly in this first school term. So how can we respond when things go wrong? Dr Bruce Perry’s model is really useful here:
Regulate: You cannot deal with the issues until the child is calm and can access their ‘thinking brain’. There are many ways to help a child regulate, using repetitive, soothing tasks. Remember to keep calm yourself and use a quiet, kind voice.
Relate: This is a time to connect with the child. Recognise their feelings and try to empathise and attune. “I can see you’re worried/angry/unhappy right now”.
Reason: This involves the thinking brain so can only be done once children are calm and have formed trust in the adult. This is when you can support the child to reflect on the event, learn from it and remember it going forward. Don’t be in a rush to do this and it will probably be best to wait until later in the day or even another day.
For further strategies to implement this key model, contact me.
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